"HACK" Bullshit...Fuck!

Like any other (in)sane person awake at 5am on a Sunday morning, i am on YouTube.

Lets start with this rant...YouTube is ruining me. I know that i am an adult with my own thoughts and opinions and consequences and shit. I have responsibilities and chores and stuff.
But then there's YouTube.
Sitting over there with its shirt off and its all sweaty and sexy and inviting and my brain just says to me "Fuck sleep, you don't need it. What you need is YouTubey salty goodness.
But its ok, I'll get cranky, I'll say mean things and then YouTube will sweet talk me and I'll go back to it with open arms and about 3 days of sleep deprivation induced craziness.

I have a problem with the Internet. Well, i have a fuck ton of problems but one in particular that's really annoying me and ruining my valuable night time Interweb perusal.

HACKS!!! Life hacks, food hacks, clothes hacks, hack hacks. Fuck you and your stupid hacks.

At first I found them interesting, I will admit to having the Pinterest app on my phone and have pinned a lot of hack-y looking things, but i haven't tried any....i swear!

But now there on YouTube, my precious tomb of ridiculous videos. And at first, i was intrigued. I watched a few, thought to myself that looks pretty cool. Maybe I'll give that a go someday.

But then the food hacks kept coming at me and they are the ones I have the biggest problem with.
I watched a video the other day, chocolate based hacks. Hack your chocolate and make your life easier. What i thought i was going to watch was a cool video on how to grow your own chocolate from a pair of old tights and borax (check it out, borax is used in tooo many of these hacks) or something along the lines of, save money with these amazing life changing hacks and never worry about buying chocolate again.

But what i actually watched was a a bunch of absolute bullshit.
When you list 8 ingredients and a method of combining them,
THAT'S A RECIPE, not a hack.
Just because you cooked it in the microwave does not make it a hack.

Fuck, i have recipe books from the 80s that are just for microwave cookery and they prided themselves on calling them recipes.
Now these bitches online are calling them "hacks". Bitch, google the words "brownie recipe" and you'll find the thing your hacking.

Microwaves are for popcorn, re heating beverages, making scrambled eggs in a bind and maybe exploding water balloons.

Cook your goddamn brownies in the oven...in a pan and make like enough for a 12 instead of one in a pissy little cup


Now, i want brownies. Damn! Didn't think this through

Nova xx